The Lorax Endorses WHAT?!
“It all started way back…
Such a long, long time back…
Way back in the days when the grass was still green
And the pond was still wet
And the clouds were still clean…”
Those epic words set the mood and the scene
for Dr. Seuss’s “Lorax”
A parable for children about being green
And tongue-twisty syntax.
But like all good ideas
(and quite a few bad)
Hollywood took an interest
In the money to be had.
They commissioned a screenplay, cast actors,
And sold advertising spots,
Complete with product placements and brand pairings –
You know the lot.
But we have to wonder, did they think even a bit?
About the message they were sending – or worse –
The one they’d omit?
A Lorax-branded combustion engine? I mean, seriously?
Not a hydrogen? Not an electric?
Not even a Thneed-sponsored cross-breed?
No offense to Mazda.
I’m sure their Skyactiv technology is swell indeed.
But you won’t save the Bar-ba-loots or Swomee Swans
with 10 measly MPGs.
And I must be missing how its exhaust is “friendly”
to you, me or the Truffala Trees.
Whoever is in charge of branding
For the Lorax’s mula-making machine -
Have you read the book you’re hijacking?
Did you misinterpret what it means?
Because the takeaway this ad emits
Reeks the wrong shade of “green.”
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